I have fond memories of my childhood. I grew up in a loving family in a peaceful village. I was a happy bright child who was eager to learn. With ease I was top of my class. I saw it as an exciting game to raise my hand up first to answer questions of the teacher and, at times, I even rightfully corrected the teacher. In secondary school, when moving to a new class, I became the target of bullying. It was very mild and some might not even call it bullying. But for me at the time it was a serious warning: my behaviour in class is not appreciated by my environment. If I continue in this manner, the bullying will escalate. I wanted to stop it as soon as possible and therefore decided not to demonstrate in class anymore that I knew the answer. It had immediate positive effect: within a few days, the bullying had completely vanished.
School life continued as nothing ever happened. Yet, my decision altered my life fundamentally. No longer did I open my mouth voluntarily. The sweet reward for being sharp and bright was no longer available for me. In the years that followed, there were a few incidents of pure injustice that further strengthened my conviction that it is better to keep your mouth shut.
That is how my life evolved from there. I saw many things happening, but did not say or do anything. I knew to answers to many questions, but did not speak out. In group discussions, I kept a neutral stance, even if I had a strong opinion on the matter at hand. I merely used my voice to be accepted by my environment.
Many years passed and I had created an external life that was perfectly accepted and even lauded by my environment. Fortunately for me, all those years, my inner voice never ceased talking. It was speaking louder and louder, until it shouted so loud that I was finally able to really open my eyes and look at myself. My life, my work, it was all theater play. I was an actor with a script on the stage of my own life. I decided to take radical measures.
A long period of reclaiming my own persona followed. It was, and still is to this date, a wonderful discovery and rediscovery of who I really am, and perhaps also a bit of who we are.
My journey not only brought me back to myself, it changed my perspective on life, on the world, and on us as human beings. I am fascinated about Life and all its aspects. My inner world, like yours, is full of ideas, insights, dreams, solutions, creativity, perspectives, play and fun. For years, I kept this inner world closed to the outside world. I have learnt and experienced what the consequences are for me (and therefor for you) of keeping it locked.
And that is the very reason why I started this blog. I want to share my inner world with you. On this website, you will read a variety of ideas, dreams and insights. Some might not make any sense to you, some might even be ludicrous and that is perfectly fine. Just see what resonates with you and what doesn’t, simply doesn’t. I hope my inner world inspires you in your journey to make our outer world an even better place.